Sometimes, horrible things happen to good people. If there’s any aspect of life I wish I could change, it will surely be this fact. Have you lost your spark for life? The stress, disappointments, and daily struggles can be overwhelming. It’s tough. Sometimes, issues just keep coming, back to back to back. And it can almost feel like you (your journey) are being attacked, chased, or even cursed.

None of this is your fault. And it's absolutely okay if you feel you’ve done enough. If you’ve not had a place to break down or really feel and express your deepest emotions, know this: you are not alone here. While we may not have all the answers we want or the solutions we seek, one thing is important: the guts to pick ourselves up each time we fall. And the heart to sustain hope and help each other get back on our feets. Here's the thing. Feeling hopeless doesn’t mean you’ve lost your potential to achieve your goals, be happy, and be healthy. Let us start by addressing the stages of losing hope. And if you’re not feeling hopeless at the moment, great! This write-up will strengthen your resilience and empathy for those who might be going through a similar situation. And finally, we’ll share some basic tips that might help you reclaim your joy and optimism! You’ve got this.

Stage 1: Discontentment

Ever felt like things aren't going the way you planned? Well, that's where it all begins. You feel discontent with your circumstances. You feel stuck between where you are and where you desire to be. And instead of feeling motivated to push forward, you are just numb.

Stage 2: Isolation

As you lose enthusiasm, you begin distancing yourself because being alone is easier. You start feeling empty, losing interest in things you once enjoyed as the weight of sadness grows heavier day after day.

Stage 3: Negativity

Negative thoughts sweep in. For example, “I’m not good enough” or “things can never get better.” Have you ever told yourself this? You question if your goals and relationships are worth pursuing, as it all seems pointless, like you are drowning in a pool of anxiety and depression.

Stage 4: Desperation

You are willing to do anything to escape the feeling of emptiness, even engaging in self-destructive habits like substance abuse, or self-harm. Unfortunately, unhealthy coping mechanisms only make matters worse. Don’t hurt yourself, there’s a healthier way to deal with this. Continue reading to find out.

Stage 5: Resignation

In this final stage, you’re at your lowest. You have tried your best to hang on to hope, but the more you do, the more discouraged you are. You feel defeated, so you give up, convinced things can never get better. However, as challenging as it is, this moment represents a life-turning point. Like the darkest part of the night just before the sunrise.

Do you find these stages relatable? Share the post with others.

How to find hope again

According to the STAGES OF CHANGE model, individuals in the ‘resignation phase’ possess ‘latent resilience’ (hope that refuses to be extinguished). Despite being overwhelmed, there is an underlying capacity for healing. “All Hope is not lost.”

And if you felt sad or even cried while reading this, it’s not because you're weak, you’ve just been strong for too long. So, if you’ve not heard this in a while, cheer up; this is not the end of your story.

Here are 10 important things to note about bringing back abundant healing and joy.

1. Address your worldview. 

Psychologist Ronnie Janoff-Bulman suggests we tend to have an "assumptive worldview" where we think only good things happen to good people. However, the world is not black and white. A realistic perspective sees the world in grey. Good and bad things happen to everyone. Bad things happen to good people; it’s just how the world is. Unfair. Probably what we dislike the most about it.

2. Stay connected with positive people. 

Talk to someone or join a community that uplifts and supports you through hobbies, shared goals, and beliefs. This is effective because it takes you out of the danger zone of isolation, leading to a fresh start.

3. Practice kindness. 

Putting a smile on a stranger's face, no matter how little, or being the reason someone's hope is restored, can boost your positivity and give you a renewed sense of fulfillment.

4. Express your feelings creatively. 

Engage in therapeutic creative outlets that are convenient. Write down your thoughts, take hikes, try painting, go on karaoke, or visit a rage room to exert your pent-up emotions.

5. Find inspiration in role models. 

Read stories of people who have overcome depression. Watch documentaries and listen to motivational podcasts to build self-awareness and get yourself back.

6. Find joy in little wins.

Give yourself simple tasks and reward yourself with some guilty pleasure. Try planting a seed (beautiful flower), watering it every day, and watching it grow, or return to abandoned projects and focus on one task at a time in order to complete them. 

7. Reflect on how far you’ve come. 

Think about the past challenges that seemed insurmountable at the time. You can and will overcome this challenge as well. 

8. Seize the moment. 

Analyze your situation. List what you can change and what you can’t. Take control of what you can change and let go of what you cannot. Rather than relying on positive thinking, focus on realistic planning. Ask yourself, "What's the worst that can happen?" learn from people’s mistakes, seek help when necessary, and plan accordingly. 

9. Seek professional support. 

You don't have to go through this alone. Seasoned experts and organizations offer self-help services and resources for free. So, don’t struggle in silence; reach out for support. 

10. Forgive and be kind to yourself.

There is a tendency to feel you’ve let yourself down. So, forgive yourself for past mistakes. Replace self-pity with self-compassion. Every act of kindness towards yourself, no matter how simple, brings you closer to feeling better and finding yourself again. They may seem insignificant now, but you’ll look back and realize it was those simple moments that really helped you stay strong and weather the storm.

Your journey might have tough times, but there are also moments of pure joy waiting for you, and you deserve every bit of it. Finally, hope isn’t just something we can have; it’s also something we can give and by extension, something we can receive. So, dear reader, let’s spread HOPE! People need it. I need it. You need it. The world needs it. How did you navigate your difficult moments? Let us know in the comments. Feeling inspired? Share your story; your encouraging words could be the lifeline someone desperately needs.

References and additional resources:

• Josh Garcia (2022). Stars Of Hope. The Five Stages Of HopeRetrieved from https://Starsofhopeusa.Org/The-5-Stages-Of-Hope/

• Cathleen Fanslow-Brunjes, M.A., R.N (2012). The four stages of Hope. Retrieved from https://Www.Hhau.Org/Resources/Documents/The%20four%20stages%20of%20hope.Pdf

• Behavioral Change Models (2022). The Transtheoretical Model Stages Of Change. Retrieved from https://sphweb.bumc.bu.edu/otlt/MPH-Modules/SB/BehavioralChangeTheories/BehavioralChangeTheories6.html