How to forgive your ex when you're still in pain and why it's important
You can’t move on without genuinely forgiving your ex.
However, forgiveness feels different when you’re still heartbroken. When you forgive those who wronged you, don’t expect your pain and disappointment to vanish instantly. In most cases, it won’t.
If you expect it to happen that way, you’ll only say, “I don’t think I can ever forgive him/her.”
Forgiveness is essential.
The person most hurt by unforgiveness is you.
Forgiveness removes their power over you and your healing process and places the responsibility of ‘moving on’ in your hands.
Forgiveness disconnects you from your emotional ties with them and sets you free to focus on yourself and your healing journey.
Without forgiveness, you will most likely enter a new relationship with unresolved hurt and pain from the past. Thereby punishing your new partner for the sins of your ex.
I know it’s challenging to forgive someone who broke your heart. It sucks! It takes real strength to pull it off. But it is necessary.
Forgiveness feels different when you’re still in pain.
Do not be fooled into believing that you only need to forgive them once. You see, that's how I wish it worked.
Even if you have already forgiven your ex, painful memories and thoughts might still come to mind.
They will come up occasionally, but with time they become less intense. It means you will need to forgive your ex every day, every week, and every month until you no longer need to.
And you need to say it out, “I forgive you xxx,” don’t just say it in your mind. There is something therapeutic about adding voice to your inner thoughts.
You must declare it (to yourself) and mean it, but you must also show yourself kindness and patience.
Healing a broken heart is a journey that takes a lot of time. It is not about speed, it’s about progress. It requires patience with your own self.
Don’t let the past hold you captive.
Genuinely forgive them, and watch their power over your emotions slowly diminish until it eventually vanishes. You’ll be astonished by the impact of genuine and complete forgiveness.
Forgive yourself for allowing them to waste your time.
Accept the apology they never gave you.
Forgive them even if they don’t deserve it.
Want to talk about a situation where you were hurt? Talk to a therapist now.
Comments