The solution to loneliness in our 30s and 20s

The ongoing epidemic no one is talking about.

Image by Freepik

We are a generation globally connected with tech and social media yet so isolated in our own worlds.

First of all, I believe why we are lonely is because we struggle to admit we are. This is because there is a stigma attached to Loneliness. But why? Why should a stigma be attached to something natural?

A human emotion and reality that is inevitable in the human experience.

I think people who struggle with Loneliness, like other issues, should begin to be open about it. People should express their loneliness more clearly and not be shamed, ridiculed, or deemed miserable for it.

Interestingly, People actually do admit their Loneliness, but indirectly. For example, through sarcastic memes, screenshots of songs, tweets, or anything that hints that we want to be understood.

Keyword: UNDERSTOOD.

Over the past decades and centuries, we’ve defined the term Loneliness wrongly. Because you see, Loneliness is not the absence of company, lover, friends, or family, or, rather, an intense desire to be seen, heard and understood. Cause you can be surrounded by people or be with someone and still feel Lonely. In fact, that’s the worst.

So, what do we now do?

How do we end this epidemic?

It is simple: HONESTY.

I have this common saying to my friends: honesty requires vulnerability, and vulnerability demands courage.

We need to be honest with ourselves and our Loneliness. Because as much as Loneliness is a normal human emotion, it’s not one to dwell on for too long without acting on it.

So, we must be vulnerable and courageous to push past the subtle communication and hints of our Loneliness and be practical about overcoming it.

For instance, maybe when we intend to make new acquaintances, friends, and romantic advances, we should open with ‘I am lonely’ followed by “I want to be seen, heard and understood by you.”

This may sounds cringe, or crazy, I know. But that's because we’ve generally believed it to be so, when actually its just plain HONESTY we need to start getting used to.

If the person returns that honesty in person, you have your answer: yes or no. If yes, you’ve got a person you can both do life with. If rejected, don’t take it personally; it just wasn’t meant to be.

If we say, “Oh, I’m scared of rejection or ridicule; that’s why I don’t put myself out there.” Trust me, later in your latter years, the 50s and 60s, you and I would regret it.

We’d have old age regret, guilt and misery, which pales compared to the drowning feeling of Loneliness we are experiencing in our 20s and 30s.

This is the solution to Loneliness: HONESTY, VULNERABILITY, AND COURAGE. It’s easier said than done, but it’s all we got.